Cheese and Twilight: The Diabolical Combination
by tomgirl1219
Summary: One-shot about what is happening when Kurt is flipping out and Blaine is teasing him about the Vampire judge at the Regionals episode: On My Way. Klaine!


**Cheese and Twilight are a Bad (and Sometimes Good) Combination**

Oh, _shit_.

A guy dressed as vampire did _not_ just spring up from the seat. Kurt is just dreaming. He's passed out from the nervousness of Regionals. Yeah, that's it. And he'll wake up, and Blaine will be leaning over him with his gorgeous hazel eyes, wide with concern.

And Blaine does indeed lean over onto him. But Kurt realizes then that it's not because he has blacked out. No, that would be too easy. His boyfriend is leaning on him because this is real life, and he _knows_! That curly haired ass knows that Kurt is not fond of vampires. At._ All_. And this wannabe is not changing that.

Kurt never should have told him! He knew he would regret it, but Blaine was looking at him with those sparkly eyes, and seriously, who can resit that? He should have never eaten that whole platter of cheese from the Holiday party (because apparently eating cheese before bed causes weird dreams) and he should have steered away from all 3 Twilight movies.

His dream really wasn't that funny after all.

He only dreamed that Blaine was a vampire, and that he was taking Human-Kurt to see his bloodsucking family. And Blaine's brother had not been able to control himself, and therefore attacked Kurt, draining every drop of blood in his body in a painstakingly slow manner. Plus, his "boyfriend" was just standing there, smiling, while he was bitten by Blaine's own family! Not even caring. Just laughing as the blue-eyed boy is eaten.

That is a very good reason to be afraid of vampires.

The vampire dude dressed in his black velvet cape and red shirt, with a gray lacy thing (can someone say cliché!) is hissing at the crowd now, and the only thing Kurt can do is hide.

He realizes now that when the judge first appeared, he grabbed onto Blaine's wrist, which was the _wrong_ thing to do because now Kurt has brought his behavior to his boy friend's attention.

Blaine wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Kurt has the sudden urge to rip the Dorito shaped things _off_, because this is serious! Instead, he controls his fingers, shoots him a heated glare, and begins sliding lower into plush seat. He pulls his knees up to his chest, and leans away from Blaine, who is now chuckling.

With Kurt's arms safely around his knees, he relaxes a little, until his short friend (who is going to be even shorter when Kurt pounds him into the ground if he does not stop laughing!) gets an idea.

He watches with hawk eyes as the hobbit makes claws with his hands.

This is Regionals! Not a Lady Gaga or Michael Jackson concert! And then, Blaine waves the things in Kurt's face, hissing and agitating him more.

"Blaine! Stop it!" He cries. His jerk of a lover laughs and continues roaring at him.

"It's _not_ funny!" Kurt tries again. He sticks his arm in front of his head to stop his annoying boyfriend. When he does that, however, Blaine tries to stick his head in the hole of his crossed arms to smile adoringly at Kurt. Not going to work this time, Bub! Kurt stretches the golden elastic away from the distractingly fitted black shirt, and lets it snap against Blaine's chest, causing him to yelp and jump back.

"Ow! What was that for?" Dorito face asks. His face shows hurt, while his eyes contain amusement.

"It's not funny!" Kurt repeats again. Maybe he can get the message through Blaine's helmet of gel and into his brain, so that he'll leave him alone and let Kurt wedge himself into his chair in peace.

Blaine does not like the idea of leaving Kurt to wallow in his paranoia, apparently, and continues to make hissing noises. The brunette groans and pushes into the seat more.

Kurt sticks his index finger up, pointing at the air and wiggling it, as if to make his statement more important.

"If you don't stop teasing me, there will be no kisses for you!" He declares. This threat makes Blaine retreat slightly. He raises a ridiculously adorable eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's right! Keep going with your little "Thriller" act and you will get none of this!" Kurt points to his lips, puckering them. Then, he lowers his head onto his arms and hides. Blaine giggles. Actually giggles.

Kurt twitches his legs closer to his body, hoping to hear when the announcer starts saying the names of the other judges. I mean, who can fawn over a creeper guy with fangs and very, _very _poorly done makeup for this long! Soon, Count Dorkula will have to sit back down.

Kurt feels warm pressure on his knee. He shifts slightly to look through the gap in his crossed arms to see the hand of Blaine resting there.

"I'm sorry, Kurt." He whispers. Kurt can heart he smile in his voice, and he doesn't care that much because this is his amazing boyfriend who is touching his knee and murmuring sweet nothings in his ear in public. Well, actually, they're apologies, but it's potato patato to Kurt. Being told he's right is almost the same.

"The vampire guy is gone now." Blaine says. Kurt lifts his head off of his arms, and stares accusingly at his boyfriend with his piercing blue eyes. Then, he looks up the rows of seats, to see that the wannabe is gone, true to Blaine's word.

The brown haired boy quickly untangles his arms from his legs, and places his feet on the ground again. He feels Blaine watching him. And he ignores him. The no kissing threat is still valid.

Kurt hears the black haired boy moving, registers the bump of the arm rest being pushed up into it's home in the seat. Blaine is moving closer, over the gap between the seats.

The still irritated boy is giving his boyfriend as look, a death stare. He's positive he's doing it, but it has no affect. Blaine must be ignoring it, and now, as if Kurt isn't angry, he's pressed up against his side, very warm and there. And now, Kurt is receiving a taste of his own medicine.

"The puppy dog eyes! Really, Blaine, you know I can't resist those." He exclaims.

"Yeah, I know."

His irises are honey golden, with flakes of green that Kurt can point out on account of their closeness.

"You know? And what are your puppy dog eyes supposed to be doing?"

"Softening you up enough to do this." Blaine replies, and then he rolls forward, pressing his lips to Kurt's. The heat is over whelming, melting away the irritation that Kurt is feeling. Blaine's lips are warm and plump and a little chapped from the cold which gives them a rough edge that feels _so_ good when his boyfriend nibbles his bottom lip, dragging. Kurt can feel Blaine's tongue swiping at his mouth, and he's about to part his lips when he remembers that he supposed to be denying kisses. So, he pulls back, detaching them, to give Blaine a look that clearly says he still hasn't forgiven him. The curly haired boy whimpers when Kurt stops the kissing, and that little noise throws him over board. Ah, what the hell? No harm done if he continues kissing...

'This totally doesn't count' he thinks as he presses against his boyfriends lips. Kurt meant starting his kissing rule when they got home. So, this does not count.

All thought is blown away when Blaine continues what he was doing before, biting and brushing his tongue against Kurt's lips.

Yup. Doesn't count. He parts his lips, allowing access to his mouth. The wet tongue of his boyfriend swirls around, licking over his teeth, and all Kurt can think is that maybe the threat is going to be hard to uphold on his own side, too.

**There. One shot is done! Hope you all like. It's kinda late so I know it's very silly! I just couldn't get this idea out of my head after seeing it on Tumblr.**

**Review!**


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